This is a four part series in honor of Elle's 2nd anniversary of her SUCCESSFUL Spinal Fusion Surgery to correct the -49 curvature of her spine! YEAH!!!
Curvature of the spine Tension had been brewing between me and Dick since Elle's diagnosis a year earlier. Although we had both accepted the fact, Elle's spine could only be fixed through Spinal Fusion Surgery - we both knew our 50/50 custody arrangement would not work in the recovery phase.
Elle's surgery had to be done before she turned nineteen to give her the best chance for success. Initially we thought/hoped it would be closer to nineteen, but the pain from Elle's curved spine began affecting her ability to participate in simple everyday activities - surgery needed to happen at 15. In May of 2009 the surgery date was set for Wednesday, July 22nd, a little over two months away.
After my divorce from Dick, I was consumed with the day to day negotiations between the two households - weekends - holidays - vacations - schooling. In the back of my mind I always had a deep fear of something out of the ordinary happening; an accident, an illness, a surgery.
Dick and I were barely able to agree on the the easy stuff - how in the world would we ever agree on something life threatening? The minute a surgery date was set the underlying tension turned into a full on tug of war began between the two families - with Elle smack in the middle. Where would Elle stay after her surgery? Elle would have a six week recovery period, if everything went well - longer if it didn't. The best home for recuperation was up for debate.
Elle wanted to stay in our home, period end of story! Things had not been going well at Dick's house. I decided to tackle it head on with Dick. I was strong, direct, confident and unwilling to compromise; Elle was was staying at my house after her surgery. I was her mother, worked from home and could be there for her 24/7. Dick would fire back that they were the better parents and that Malus could provide better care for Elle.