All in Marriage A Second Time Around
I officially became Raylan's 3rd Wife and he my 2nd Husband. You might not have realized that society has an unwritten rule, if you’ve ever been married before your Spouse comes with a chronological distinction.
Which got me wondering, will there ever come a day when Raylan is just my Husband and me his Wife? Or will our marriage forever be viewed as less than ideal because it didn't come first?
When I was young I had full blown panic attacks at bedtime - I was afraid I would close my eyes and never wake up - be all alone in total blackness. As much as my parents tried to console me - tell me I wasn't going to die until I was old and gray and when I did it wouldn't be blackness, but something rather beautiful - I just couldn't wrap my head around how that could be possible.
Hers, His and Ours - I'M NOT AFRAID OF THE DARK ANYMORE. HOW DEATH SHAPED MY BLENDED FAMILY.
When I was a kid, I always assumed when I grew up bullies wouldn't exist. The Internet shattered that fantasy with an all-new low for bullying; hate, intimidation, threats lobbed at victims from the safety of a cartoon character avatar and fake name. For a long time I chose to look the other way. It was "their" war not mine.
Then I became a StepMom and like so many women before me became a Disposable Woman in the eyes of the Cyber Bullies.
A few months back I was drawn into Fawn Weaver talking about her book Happy Wives Club. I remember thinking at the time that a Happy Wife - Happy Marriage is universal no matter the number attached to the front of your marriage.
When I hit my 15th anniversary last week I decided like any good wife to crack open this book to reaffirm just what a Happy Wife I am and the The Happy Marriage Raylan and I share.
Every word and sentiment seemed to resonate with me until I was struck hard by the words from a Husband in a happy, long term marriage - a sentiment shared with the author:
If you marry the right person - marriage isn't work.
When I said "I do" the first time around I relied on my trusty list. You know the list of logical - unemotional things I shared in common with my Ex. The list I thought guaranteed a good match in marriage. Top of my list - same religion. Growing up a Non-Mormon chick in a heavily populated Mormon state I was convinced a Mormon could never get someone like me.
What I never took into account was did he make me laugh? Did he really get me? Mormon or not.
If ONLY Mom and Dad had stayed married........My life would have been PERFECT! Those words rolled off the lips of my step son Chris with such ease during his five year stay in our home. His parents had divorced when he was six years old and his Mother had firmly planted in his mind that a life of perfection had been snatched from him thanks to the divorce. And you remember who wanted the divorce? Right?
Hers, His and Ours. Perfection - Finding-Beauty-In-The-Cracks-And-Broken-Pieces
If you happened at some point to peak over at my About Master Blender page, you know that I'm kind of what you would call an exercise nut. Not in the typical sense. I mean, I really don't like to exercise, but I have subscriptions to every women's exercise magazines you can think of. I find enjoyment in reading about others who like, perhaps even love exercise. But the true reason I call myself an exercise nut, is that I love buying and wearing not just exercise clothing, but you know clothing for the "active" person.
Hers, His and Ours. How "Fake It Till You Make It Baby" mentality leads to success in a Blended Family.