Last week I went to see Sex and the City 2. I laughed hysterically at Samantha going through her menopause adventures and her worship of Suzanne Somers as her menopause savior. I thought it was even funnier when we walked out of the theatre and boom there's a table set up with Suzanne Somers books and supplements. I remember remarking to myself, I'm glad that's not me, I'm 8 years away from being as OLD as Samantha and dealing with that crap!
Boy am I ever choking on those words. Fast forward a week, I start my period on Saturday, an entire 8 days early and it is the mother of all periods. How can this be I say to myself. Then as if on cue, I start having extreme night sweats, not little baby ones, let's take the blanket off. No, complete drench the sheets, comforter's and pillows with sheets of sweat running down my back. I wake up completely pissed off, saying under my breath "What the HELL is going on here!" I'm now day three into this nightmare and it dawns on me, am I going through menopause? No way, but for fun let's just google it, shall we. After clicking on a few I find a little thing called perimenopause, which given my age is more likely the scenario. Yes, I have heard of this before, but never paid much attention, not going to happen to me, if I don't think about it, can't happen.
So I start reading the most common symptoms:
Headaches - Check
Hot Flashes/Night Sweats - Double check
PMS - Check
Unexplained weight gain - Double check
Water Retention - Check
Anger - Triple Check
Anxiety - Check
Depression/Irritability - Check
Moody Swings - Triple Check
Halfway through the list, I start realizing, um, I might have a problem here. And then comes the really great news, this fun filled adventure can last as long as 15 years before actual menopause sinks in. That's comforting!
So after ignoring the symptoms for many months, I swing into full action, searching for relief. I even break down and go to Suzanne Somers site for a little insight. Long story short, I start looking for someone who practices Bioidentical Therapy, mainly because of all all the bad press on HRT and cancer. I find a woman Naturopathic Doctor across town that specializes in Perimenopause. Yeah, that was easy! I call to make an appointment, turns out I'm not the only one breaking down about this condition, she's booked until August, but they can put me on a cancellation list. That's a relief. Oh, by the way it's a $150 to hold the appointment and it can be applied to the mere $360 office visit, credit card please! I'm completely taken back, in shock if you will, I wasn't expecting that when I called! So after walking with my phone in my hand, up and down the stairs trying in vain to find my wallet, the receptionist politely says, "Do you want to call me back with the number?" Sure.
Finally, I find my wallet and take a look at the website again. It's a 90 minute appointment and the following ones are in the $60 range. If I want to do something to fix this nightmare, this feels like the best option for me. Sooo, I call back and officially reserve the spot. I'm sure I'll be a real mess by August if I'm already losing it in June!