Raylan and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary on Friday! I wondered on many occasions if we would actually make it this far. Honestly, between all our kids and the other families it feels like our blended family has shared a lifetime of experiences already. I'm not complaining, just taking stock in the fact that most 2nd marriages/blended families have a huge failure rate, so to reach 10 years feels pretty damn awesome! It's definitely knuckle bump worthy, although I'm apparently not skilled in doing it correctly according to my kids, I put my thumb on the outside. Anyways...
I have heard from some of my fellow blended family survivalists that after the fifth year things tend to stabilize into a pattern of normalcy. For me however, I'm still waiting. Yes, we've grown into a family, learned how to parent (most of the time) our blended kiddies, fallen in love with the many attributes of our numerous family members, as well as, accept their not so easy ways. I put myself in the mix, because I have some really annoying habits that drive my hubby and my kids crazy! Just ask them they could go on for hours. So normalcy, it just hasn't arrived yet, hoping some day soon.
I know, I know, what I just said seems pretty normal granted, but take the past twelve months as my case in point. This year has been the most extreme, emotional, gut wrenching days of our entire marriage. It started six days before our 9th wedding anniversary; one our children left their other home because of physical/emotional abuse that same child had major surgery in July 09 and the most recent, we almost lost our youngest to a freak life threatening illness. See what mean, how many people have experienced one of these things in their lifetime or even in the past ten years? Then add all three together in a 12 month period. Seriously it can't be that many, and then add the complication of blended family dynamics, even fewer.
I look at Raylan and I say to myself, we must have something really special to still be standing next to each other, still love one other and dare I say it...like each other. Any one of this past years' events or the countless others we have experienced surely could have broken us up and no one would have really faulted us. I seriously don't know how we survived in general as individuals, let alone as a couple. However, if someone put a gun to my head and said tell me how has your marriage lasted this long? I would have to say that every evening I ask myself the same question, do I want a life without my hubby ? And every day for past ten years the answer has been a resounding NO! At the end of the day that's the only thing that really matters, if I want a life with Raylan then I'll continue to work with him to find the right path for any challenge that we continue to face.
Here's looking at another ten years with a little less drama, please!