As you know, I started a quest back in June to stop my Perimenopause symptoms from driving me insane. The earliest I could get help was a long, long 7 weeks away for the gyno and 8 weeks for the Neuropath Doctor. At the time, I remember sharing my predicament with Raylan. He responded: So you're going to be like this all summer? Me: A raging bitch? Yes, you can count on it! His initial reaction told me that what I was feeling was in fact real and clearly the family had noticed. In the two months since, Raylan has gone out of his way to try and mitigate the mood swings/irritability with humor or at times staying far, far away!
Last week, we hit lucky number 7: my gyno appointment. It seemed everyone was thrilled that it had finally arrived. I sensed they were hoping for relief just as much as I was. At the appointment, my gyno asked a few questions, did the usual exam and then responded with the dreaded, I think there might be something more going on than just Perimenopause. An ultrasound was ordered asap. The diagnosis: I have a one inch ovarian polyp. Turns out it's the culprit when it comes to my heavy menstral cycles and cramps from HELL! So on August 23rd I will be having a" little procedure" to take care of it. Oh God, I never thought I would be one of those old people who gets "procedures". Two symptoms down and another dozen to go!
Through this ordeal, I have been extremely concerned about the kids. I hoped that they wouldn't freak out and worry about all the what if's of the situation. I was extremely worried about Elle. She left her other family 14 months ago because of abuse and this is her only family right now. I knew she would be the most frightened about what would happen to her if something went wrong. After dinner, we sat all three of them down, I started to explain what was going on when I looked over at Little Hart and she was crying, so I immediatley followed suit with the tears. At which point, Raylan jumped in until I could catch my breath. I had my eye on Elle and for the moment she was standing strong. Jax was laying across the benches under the window, zoned out, emotional issues are completely out of his comfort zone for him. And after Little Hart stopped crying, she looked at me and said, so who's going to do the laundry? We all looked at each other and burst into laughter. Raylan says I will! Little Hart immediately looks at Elle and says can you do my laundry?
A short time later, Raylan put his arm around Elle and said nothing is going to happen, but if it does, I will spend every cent I have to make sure you don't have to go back to the abuse in your other household. This is your home. I could sense relief as she gave him a huge hug. I have to admit, in the 14 months since Elle has been living here full-time the thought has crossed my mind that this family was created and held together by the bond that Raylan and I share. It was an amazing feeling to hear my hubby reassure my daughter that he would take care of her no matter what happened to me. I know I would do the same, but it was comforting to hear those words expressed out loud to Elle. After that she followed me into the office and hugged me tight and cried for a few minutes and I cried along with her. I told her that everything was going to be alright, and I meant it.