Hello Dahlings!

Master Blender Lisa has been Blending Her ONE with His FIVE for 18 years.  With THREE Ex Spouses, THREE Step Parents and SIX kids we are living the Blended, Not Stirred dream.  Is that even a thing?


 I always chuckle a little to myself when I hear a fellow Step-Mom rave about how their husband is always very supportive of her role as a Step-Mom. When I first heard ringing endorsements from fellow Step-Mom's, I immediately panicked and thought "What the Hell is Wrong With Us? How did they get all the luck?" Then it dawned on me; no relationship is perfect, even in normal, run of the mill marriages.

Every marriage has its moments when a Signifcant Other isn't quite there the way the other partner wants, needs or wishes for. Just take a look at the thousands of self- help books out there or even the "relationship' section on MSN. No shortage of suggestions on how to improve your marriage..............

Now think about the Step-Family. Add say an ex-wife or two, an ex-husband of your own, kids from all the marriages at various ages. It's uncharted territory, that involves more than a husband and wife. Adding "Blended" to a partnerships makes "Men are Mars - Women are from Venus" seem like child's play in comparison. Reaching happiness is like a big spreadsheet with a multitude of possibilities. In a nutshell, Complicated!

So my chuckle instead of pressing the panic button is just my way of reminding myself that while other Step-Mom's may have had an easier time of blending than I have, I also know other Step-Mom's may be faced with even more challenging situations. Making light of what feels like perfection, lets me off the hook. I don't waste time in search of creating the  "perfect" blended family marriage.

Saturday, Raylan and I toasted our 11th Anniversary high above Hanalei Bay as the sun set. Eleven years of imperfection ended with Raylan and I snuggling close and hoping for another 11. We've learned a lot of things along the way about ourselves and each other. Grown in ways I had never imagined.  My Hubby at the beginning of my story is not the Hubby of today.  And the same goes for me.  We have grown through imperfection.

When I read Rob Lowe's Memoir, his statement about his wife hit home with me. I couldn't have said it more perfectly about my own Hubby:

My Favorite Face in the World,

My Favorite Soul,

My Best Friend and

My Husband Raylan

Their relationship hasn't followed what most would consider "Perfect or ideal" , but their union is now 20 years strong. So forget "Perfection" - sometimes the ride of "IMPERFECTION" is what makes the whole thing tick!