I'm expanding my horizons with Tidbit Tuesday. I want to take some of what I'm reading/hearing in the Step-Mom world and talk about it here.
I recently came across the Bio Moms and Step-Mom's Working Together Facebook page. What immediately caught my attention and created an instant bond with the page was their logo "We're both the REAL Mother!" It really hit home for me! Immediately brought back a recent encounter I had on the subject.
A number of weeks ago, Greta took Little Hart to "Our Joint" for a snack after school. Our favorite waitress took their order; recognizing Little Hart in a different car with a different woman - asked "who are you here with?" Greta replied "I'm the REAL Mom!"
As our favorite waitress was relaying the story days later with Little Hart sitting next to me - my mind was racing with smart ass comebacks:
Ya, I'm the FAKE Mom!
I'm the Nanny - I just pretend to be her Mother so people think I'm cool!
I'm not a Mom - I just play one on TV.
Or - listen I'm here mother here's why..............
But in the end, I just looked at Little Hart, smiled and said "That's awesome you and your Mom came here Friday!"
Initially I was hurt, bugged - my feelings were all over the place. It wasn't about Greta being the Mom or telling people in my world she is the Mom. That title belongs to her. It was attaching the "REAL." That felt like commentary on my role as a mother. It was of less value or importance than her own role in Jax and Little Hart's life.
Upon reflection, I realized I was falling into my old traps. What others say or do doesn't change how I feel about my role unless I let it.
I hope someday, that the word "REAL" will automatically apply to both Mom's and Step-Mom's as something that we share. We both have important roles in raising "our" children. At the end of the day I'm a Mom to Elle, a Step-Mom to Jax and Little Hart, but bottom line:
I'm a REAL Mom to all!