Hello Dahlings!

Master Blender Lisa has been Blending Her ONE with His FIVE for 18 years.  With THREE Ex Spouses, THREE Step Parents and SIX kids we have lived, loved, cried and survived major Blending. 

HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS - FINDING BALANCE BETWEEN TWO HOMES

Jax arrived home for Christmas Break 11 days ago.  So far, Jax has been strong and confident about where and how he is going to spend his time.  A 360 degree turn from the Thanksgiving Break. Long story short, Jax tried to please everyone, but himself. Doing the bulk of what others wanted and very little of what he wanted. He was frazzled and anxious by the time Sunday rolled around.

On Thanksgiving Sunday, Jax arrived at our house - twenty minutes before he had to leave for the airport. He took a quick shower - finished packing - leaving just a handful of minutes. Jax spent them sharing the latest sports news with Raylan.  As Jax left he looked at Raylan "Dad, I can't wait to watch a football game with you in the same room!" The door closed and he was gone.

Jax determining HIS own schedule was bound to come with some growing pains. Learning you no longer need Dad or Mom's permission - Mom and Dad won't break if you don't do things their way - if you don't set boundaries you'll be worn ragged and won't have time to do your favorite thing in the world - watch a football game with your Dad. How much of that had actually set in was still unknown.

When Raylan and I picked Jax up last week, we had no idea how he planned to spend his time over the break.  It felt like he had wanted to spend more time with his Dad over Thanksgiving.Jax jumped in the car - announced he was spending the week with his Dad! He had broke the news to his Mom before he geting on the plane. He agreed to meet Greta for lunch the following day, visited his siblings at Greta's house on day two, but for the most part Jax has been here 10 of the past 11 days here.  

Initially Greta seemed bothered at that decision - calling Little Hart to do her bidding.  What time was Jax planning to come see the kids - you know they're waiting for you? Jax bristled - responding he could never spend enough time with them to make them happy - he would come over after his friends went home. Greta quickly backed off.  When she did - Jax happily, of his own free will, went to visit the kids for a few hours.

Jax's current schedule is how I envisioned it would be - Raylan has always had a different relationship with Jax as does our family. Jax spent the bulk of his life living 50% of the time with each parent. His time at Greta's home was primarily focused on him putting in 50% of the time - usually in his room with the door closed. Jax's 50% of the time in our home primarily revolved around him spending time with Raylan and our family. 

Greta can't change her priorities for the past 14 years, but she can change the future and seems to be doing so this break. Jax has been much happier, loving every minute spent with both families. Ten years from now it won't be the amount of time Jax remembers spending at both places, but rather the fantastic memories he made with both families.

I don't know for sure how the remaining ten days will unfold. Greta is off work next week and I anticipate Jax will likely chose to spend more time doing things with his Mom. I'm thankful that Jax is successfully navigating his way through this uncharted territory - making decisions that work for him.

SCHEDULE BRINGS COMFORT AND SECURITY FOR THE CHILD

ACKNOWLEDGE HURT FROM THE OTHER WOMAN AND MOVE ON