I never was a huge fan of Valentines Day before I married Raylan. So it never hurt my feelings with my Hubby's constant threats to boycott the "Hallmark Holiday." Which would probably make you think I tend to shy away from the entire Holiday all together. Nope! As a Blended Family Parent - V DAY is a reminder of why I started this blended family journey in the first place......................
I fell in love with a boy named Raylan! Without him I would have never jumped into the deep end of the pool!
Like alot of marriages, early on we got lost in the business of being married and raising our SIX kids. For my second and his third marriage - we blinked an eye and before we knew it our couple connection was way off in the distance.
We never had those magic honeymoon year or two of marriage to fill up our emotional banks for the trying times ahead - they were waiting for us the minute we said "I do" with little emotional cash in the bank to draw upon. Add to that some good old fashioned divorce guilt - my child has to be my number one cuz I divorced their Mom/Dad - I don't want them to think I love my Spouse more than them. And disaster isn't far behind.
Many of you may think - Wow! Sorry you had that problem, but that doesn't apply to us! Or my kids are number one - my marriage will survive - we're adults they're kids! But I'm here to tell ya - we're not nearly as solid as we all might want to think we are! SEVEN OUT OF TEN OF SECOND MARRIAGES WILL END IN DIVORCE! 7 out of 10! Not very promising odds no matter how you look at them.
I doubt many of us said YES to our 2nd marriage because we wanted a roommate, a handyman, a babysitter or a carpool driver. Yet more times than not that's what 2nd marriages end up becoming because the "US" - the reason we started this whole thing - fades away when we give it little to none of our time.
We got married because we fell madly in love with our significant other - their/our kids we're apart of the package - not the entire reason for the marriage. Being in a marriage that beats the odds isn't luck. It's dedication to your marriage first and foremost. Not at the expense of your kids, but for the benefit of your kids. Happy Parents = Happy Kids = Happy Family!
You may want to let all this soak in for a minute and then ask yourself - Do my Hubby and I really dedicate priority and time to our marriage? I know when I asked myself that question a number of years ago - the answer was a resounding NO!
Changing my NO to a YES meant brushing the dust off our relationship and reconnecting as a couple. Valentines Day has become a reminder of why I jumped into the deep end of the pool and why I'll do whatever it takes to stay there!
Check back on Saturday for my 5 tips for reconnecting as a couple. And no they don't include lingerie or chocolates. Just easy to do - small time commitment - low budget - real life proven tips that my Hubby and I do to keep our connection going strong - fourteen years Baby!