I know I've only been doing Tidbit Tuesday for two weeks now, but I'm breaking from my usual direction of an interesting magazine tidbit to share my own tidbits for Mother's Day this coming Sunday. Mother's Day can be more emotional and heart wrenching than all the other Holidays we celebrate throughout the year in blended families. Why? It's a territorial holiday, if you're THE MOM it belongs to you.
The interesting thing to me about Mother's Day is no one scrutinizes a Mom choices, behaviors and involvement to determine whether they're a Mom worthy of honoring on Mother's Day. You celebrate your mother despite whatever faults she possesses because they're your Mom. Plain and simple.
Bring a Step-Mom into the mix and it's a different story. A debate usually ensues as to what makes them a Mom worthy of honoring on Mother's Day. The debate usually leads to a lot of hurt feelings for both Mom's and Step-Mom's alike on a day meant to bring joy and celebration for your role as a Mother. I know it very well, being both a Mom and a Step-Mom.
There are now more Blended Families than traditional nuclear families in America and yet Mother's Day has remained the same as it was 30 years ago. I have been a Mother for over 17 years and a Step-Mom for 12. What kind of a Step-Mom I am varies from child to child. Not surprisingly my role as a Step-Mom mirrors that of a Mom to Jax and Little Hart. Not because I have a list of what I have done for them, but because I love them as if they were my own, treat them as if they were my own.
My Mother's Day Tidbits for this Week:
Involved Step-Mom: We are mother's 365 days a year, not one. Don't let the lack or level of recognition on one day question what you're doing. Just like a Mother you didn't do it for praise and recognition you did it because you love your kids. Period end of story. Celebrate with your Hubby, a friend or even yourself - You're worth celebrating on Sunday!
Step-Mom with Varying Degree's of relationships: We may not love our step-kids as if they are our own and they don't love us back like a parent. We weren't there for all the milestones in their life, but we are a valuable and an important part of our Blended Family life. Give yourself credit for all the things you do and the things you make possible for your family.
Mom's: We all have varying relationships with our kids. Sunday is meant to honor us. Technically the day does belong to us, but it also belongs to the other mother figures involved in our child's life. They're just like us, imperfect human beings doing the best the can in their roles as mother's only they weren't blessed with unconditional love from the child they're raising. We may get the bulk of the kudos Sunday, but I find it important to share with our own kids our thankfulness for the positive influence other mother figures have in their life.
I hope that ten years from now that Mother's Day will be a day that welcomes and celebrates without debate all Mom's regardless of whether they have a Step in front of Mom.