Hello Dahlings!

Master Blender Lisa has been Blending Her ONE with His FIVE for 18 years.  With THREE Ex Spouses, THREE Step Parents and SIX kids we have lived, loved, cried and survived major Blending. 

 

Last week I wrote about how alone I felt with my blended family early on. What I failed to do was put in context my Hubby's behavior. My Hubby like a lot of divorced fathers in a second/third marriage with children from a first and/or second marriage allowed his guilt to gloss over some of children's behavior. Behavior he would never tolerated from his children under normal circumstances. Does it make my Hubby and others like him who defend the questionable behavior of their kids with zeal - missing a sensitivity chip as Jennifer Aniston so famously accused Brad Pitt? NO!

What it does tell me, is that my Hubby, like a lot of divorced Dads, is extremely sensitive to the fall-out from divorcing his children's mother(s) and the toll it has taken on his kids. Good intentions with terrible results. Add to that, the three oldest being adopted. It resulted in me feeling like a free pass had been given to behave horribly. Not his intent, but the result none the less.

I always held out hope that things would change because Raylan didn't have that guilt with Jax and Little Hart. A lot of that had to do with the divorce being amicable. He had boundaries, rules and didn't gloss over their behavior in the same way.


Years ago on Mother's Day my Hubby started changing the dynamic he had with the older kids. Things didn't change over night, but they did change over time. It started with a Mother's Day extremely heartfelt apology and a thank you.

Last year I shared with my Hubby my thoughts about starting my own blog about our blended family. I was mostly just talking, but Raylan jumped all over it! "You absolutely should do it! I'm all for it."

The best Mother's Day gift I got from my Hubby was last year when he surprised me with my laptop. He handed it to me and said "Start writing. You have a lot to say. I'm sorry that I  made  you feel like you couldn't say it sooner."

 

My Hubby gave me the greatest gift yet.  The freedom to express my voice!

A STEELERS FAN IS BORN!

TIDBIT TUESDAY - MOTHER'S DAY EDITION