As you know, last week was four days of togetherness with the "other" family to celebrate Jax and Little Hart's respective graduations. There was significance in both, but more so for Jax. We're in countdown mode for him leaving for College in August. This was our (parents and families) last chance to show him that we could willingly and happily come together for the big milestones in his life.
I talked yesterday about my own negative feelings leaving me and the freedom I felt. What I didn't mention is that for the first time in Jax's life, all the important people in his life were sitting around a table - honoring his life milestone - free of negativity, not just mine. All of us were able to find our own ways to let go of the negativity that followed us at a time when it mattered most!
This was our last chance to send Jax a message - We can come together as one for the milestones in your life. There were no more next times! If he left in August with two fragmented families, he would leave with the knowledge that the underlying current of negativity between both families would always be there for all of the bigs things in his life - his happiness would always be mitigated with our own issues.
With the negativity gone, the atmosphere was relaxed and enjoyable and freeing for everyone, but most importantly Jax. My Hubby had come up with an idea to go around the table and have everyone share their favorite Jax memory. Just two years ago this very thing would have been excuriating for all, especially Jax. None of us where in a place to open our hearts and enjoy them.
On Sunday, it was one of the most meaningful things I have experienced. It was a chance to get a glimpse into Jax's "other" life. The one before me and the one he lived half the time 15 minutes away. We all were able to enjoy and celebrate his whole life - not just fragmented pieces. There were no hurt feelings from one parent because that they weren't apart of the memory being shared.
Our "Jax" stories were mostly humorous with a few that brought tears of happiness. The emotionally guarded Jax started to let down "his hair" and soak it all in. At one point the enormity of the situation got to him and I noticed Jax wiping away his tears of happiness.
The two things that really moved Jax were his Mom(Greta) and Dad sharing their feelings and stories. Raylan went first. He thanked Greta's Dad for everything he had done for Jax. Greta's Dad had taken over when Jax was baby. First, Halle and then John's problems overshadowed Jax's first four years. Dealing with the enormity of their situations, meant that someone had to be there for Jax. Greta's Dad was there without fail. And he was there for Jax when Greta and Raylan divorced. He was there for Jax plain and simple!
Next Raylan, looked at Greta seated next to Jax. His eyes filled with tears "Thank you for the blessings of having these kids in my life. I don't know where I would be without them." She responded that "they had been a blessing in everyones life." There wasn't a dry eye around the table.
Greta rounded off the tribute with her favorite story. Every morning when Jax was a baby she would go into his room to get him out of his crib and he would be standing up, with a big smile on his face and his arms wide open. "The best feeling ever!" she said.
Not long from now we will be sending Jax off to start a new chapter in his life. As Raylan pointed out two months from now, twenty years from now that Sunday brunch will probably be one of the best memories he will have of his entire family. And with it a message that the trial run went better than expected.
The next milestones in his life don't need to be dreaded when it comes to sharing with his two families. Much like Jax when he was a baby he can smile and open his arms to both families knowing we can share in loving and soaking up each moment together.
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