When my divorce from Dick was final - it was relief. Relief that I didn't have see and talk to him everyday. When he was being unreasonable I could just hang up the phone. The flip side of the decision was that I would only see my daughter half the time, split every Holiday, special occasion............. Instead of having eighteen years with my child the hard core reality was it would be more like nine. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do - with time it became my normal and Elle's normal.
Since Elle left Dick's house two and half years ago, we have been together most days. It's different from when she was a toddler - she's a teenager - been through HELL and back - dealing with a ton of emotions - but she's been under my roof. I've been lucky to be there to hold her - love her - seven days in a row - week after week.
This has become our new normal - I know it won't last she will be off to College next fall and I'm not ready for this new normal to come to an end so quickly. A couple of weeks ago, a got a taste of things to come. Elle's best friend invited her to join their family on a vacation in Monterey Bay for the four day school break. Best Friends parents were planning on driving, but decided to fly the girls down and back so they wouldn't miss any school.
The girls would fly into San Francisco - take a taxi to Stanford - tour Stanford and then best friends parents would pick them up later that afternoon. My initial response was sounds awesome - sure she can go.
Elle announced two nights before she left that I could only drop her and best friend off at the curb at the airport. That's what she did for Dad and he was fine - she would be as well. I started to protest and she said "Mom you want me to go off to College and be independent that's what this means - I'll be eighteen in two months anyway." I knew she was right, knew that a different normal for most of her life had paved the way for this moment to be a much easier for transition for her.
After I dropped her off at the airport - I have to admit I panicked some - will they get a taxi and not get attacked along the way - meet up with best friends parents???? My Hubby kept repeating "she'll be fine, if they make a few mistakes they'll figure it out. That's part of traveling" I knew he was right - as usual. Don't tell him though!
They had a fantastic time - toured two Colleges - no problems at least she chose to share with me! Elle was great about checking in and letting me know she was alive! I know that I will learn to accept the new normal when then time rolls around - I did it once before. This time around she will be making a life all her own and she can't wait! As for Mom? I will eventually come around!