You've probably noticed by the now the photo of yours truly I have posted permanently on this page to the right. I have included in this post the picture now displayed on the Her Story page.
I wanted to give a big thank you and credit to Julie Shipman, Julie Shipman Photography in the S - L -C for taking these photo's and for giving her expert advice. "This picture looks the best if you were going for a model shot, but this is the one makes me want to have a cup of coffee with you!" So hopefully, now that you see me you want to grab a cup of joe with me or is more likely the case, drink a cup while reading my ramblings.
When I arrived at Julie's studio she asked so what are we doing these for?
Me: My website about blending my family. Here's the run-down, married twelve years, 1 daughter, 5 step-kids.........
Julie: Divorced, three teenage boys dating a man with two teenage daughters. So far so good!
It seems like every day I'm meeting another woman who is joining the sisterhood of step-mothering. In talking with Julie, I was pleasantly surprised to hear the Ex-Wife in her life has been very warm and welcoming and as such her daughters have been as well. When I heard that I was overwhelmed at how lucky she was given that her story isn't one I hear very often.
Statistics tell you that marrying a man with teenage kids increases the likelihood that your relationship won't last and I have to say that Bio-Mom's, me being one of them, have a big influence on whether our kids welcome a new woman and new family unit into their life.
When we divorced our respective spouses we had to know that they would move on. Maybe we didn't know that even though we don't want to be with them, it still stung a little or a lot depending that they moved on. They didn't curl up in a ball, cry for years that they lost the best thing that ever happened to them and our ego's were bruised. The reality of being a Bio Mom is that we really need to separate our feelings of our Ex-Husband moving on from who the woman is that they chose to marry.
There are some step-mom's out there that aren't people we would ever want around our children, but for the most part the new wife, step-mother is a woman like you and me with a good heart. Maybe they don't do things they way we would, but it doesn't necessarily mean that they are bad people just different. If we chose to come from this perspective maybe there might be more stories like Julie's. And really happier kids, which is at the heart of what we all wish for!