Hello Dahlings!

Master Blender Lisa has been Blending Her ONE with His FIVE for 18 years.  With THREE Ex Spouses, THREE Step Parents and SIX kids we have lived, loved, cried and survived major Blending. 

THE DOOR CLOSES FOR THE LAST TIME

Elle's Reflects

When Elle left Dick's house almost two years ago, my initial thought was this is temporary. This isn't Dick, he's got a drinking problem, he'll get help and this nightmare will be over.

I was out of town and had called to check-in with Elle. I cried as Elle told me what had happened from the bathroom stall of a local restaurant.

The first thing I said is "This isn't your Dad, this is a person with a substance abuse problem." Second, why are you in the bathroom of a restaurant telling me this? Elle said "Malus doesn't want me to tell you or anybody else what happened. I'm supposed to keep it a secret." And right there was the biggest problem not only for my child, but for her Dad.

The person closest to Dick was not only enabling him, but covering and pretending he didn't have a problem and asking my daughter to do the same. What other secrets had Malus guilted my child into keeping for her? 

When I talked to Malus she said "Dick is out of sorts. He doesn't mean it." I said I don't care whether he means it or not. I DO NOT WANT ELLE ANY WHERE NEAR DICK!" She promised to keep Elle far away from Dick. Instead, she took Elle back to the house, insisting she fix things with a very intoxicated Dad. The result: Dick throwing Elle out of her home.

Following Elle over to Dick's house I felt an overwhelming sadness. I had always envisioned this day would come, but she would be going for a visit with her clean and sober Dad. Instead we're going to pack up her special things in an empty house. The last memory she will have of her home with her Dad will be of anger, fear and hurt. And it breaks my heart.

Little Hart joined us. She offered to be the enforcer (she's 4'11" and 98 pounds). Instead she became our comic relief. When we arrived Elle asked Little Hart to hold her hand and walk through the front door together. Dick was not there as promised. He would text me to let us know that he would be gone until after 9:00 p.m. so Elle could take her time.

Before I knew it, Little Hart had Elle laughing hysterically. They found Elle's journal about her make believe friend, Bob.   A "please read me letter" to American Idol producers wanting my brother Scott's lyrics to be used in their Finale.  A journal with one undated entry:

Malus - My Dad and I were happy before you came (she was 1 1/2 years old when Malus came into her life).  You make my Dad unhappy.  He made a bad choice for him and me when he chose you.  Elle

Little Hart being the hoarder wanted Elle to take everything! Me? I just wanted her take the things important to her. In the end a compromise! Elle didn't take any items that Malus had given her, she didn't want to bring her negative energy into our home.

At one point I looked over and saw Elle sitting in the middle of her bedroom floor looking through old pictures, taking the ones of her and Dick( two years earlier she was ripping pictures of Dick into tiny little pieces). Elle found the present she had intended to give Dick on his birthday before she left. She wrote him a thank you note and left the gift, a figurine entitled "Daddy's Girl."

After four hours, Elle and I made her last walk through the house she spent half of her life. We sat on her bed and hugged for 10 minutes. Then we left, closing the house door behind us for the last time.

ANGER TURNS TO HOPE

FINDING A SENSE OF PEACE