Literally, as I was pushing the button to post yesterday's entry, my phone was ringing. I looked down it was Dick calling. Oh God! I thought to myself. I looked over at Raylan, HE'S calling. A number of minutes went by before he finished leaving his message. I was dreading what was in store, what demands would he want now that Friday had happened. To my surprise, a different man was talking. A man that I knew years ago, but had not seen or talked to for close to 16 years. A rational, thoughtful Dad putting his daughter's needs above his own.
The Message:
Hi Lisa, It's Dick. Been awhile. I wanted to call and thank you for Elle's time with her Grandma and Grandpa . It was special for them, me and everybody. Not an hour goes by that I don't worry about her, but um I wanted to thank you for that and thank you for being such a good Mom. Sounds like she's doing really, really well!
I don't know if you know, I'm selling my house.................I would like to extend an invitation to you and Elle to go through her room. I will not be here, but I will leave the doors unlocked as long as we can arrange a time. I would like her to go through all of her collectibles and determine what she may want or not. Mark them or take them with her...................I have not felt comfortable going through them.
If you could call me back and leave a message if that's something you feel comfortable with . I assume that because they're her treasures she would rather go through them. She can label them and I can either deliver or you take them. I won't be there so there's no uncomfortable feeling there. Let me know if you can do that in preferably the next few days..................
It would mean a lot to me that she keep what she wants to keep because I don't want to throw it in storage. That's not fair to her... (the message was to long and cut off-he didn't call back)
I have to tell you that I was not expecting that from him. I was blown away. My first reaction was to start crying, what it was all about I can't say for sure. Part of it was a relief that he could acknowledge Elle's comfort level, want her to have her things of importance from his house with her instead of locked far away.
I could hear emotion in his voice, something that has been missing for years! Elle's Dad showed up today not Dick her Father. Dick has been emotionless and checked out for years. As the message got deeper and his voice cracked more, I could tell he was doing everything he could to hold back sobbing of his own. When I heard that in his voice, it gave me hope that someday he may make the choices necessary to get Elle back into his life. And that is at the heart of what I want for Elle, a healthy connection with Dick.
I told Elle about the message, her first instinct was to want to go to the house, but felt scared it may be a trap. Elle, Raylan, Little Hart and I listened to message together. She acknowledged that the message was genuine and heartfelt. We agreed with her.
The last time Elle was at Dick's home she was thrown out by Dick. Told never come back, it was permanent! To go back now will be emotionally difficult, but it's one step out of many that she needs to take for her to close this chapter of her life. Luckily, Dick has given her a start to that process with this invitation.
We plan on going today after school. When we walk through the door that was closed on her so violently two years ago, I will be there with her as she faces all of her emotions. Hopefully when we leave and the door closes for the last time it will come with a sense of peace rather than fear! That's my hope and wish for my Baby Girl!