ROAD TRIP WITH THE EX WIFE - PART 1 - THE TWO TEAMS
Last week I went on a road trip with on one of my Hubby's ex wives. Yes, you heard me right a road trip with Greta - Ex Wife #2.
You're probably thinking the same thing my friends did when I shared my upcoming plans - O - M - G! What are you thinking?
Um - it isn't a girls getaway - rather a trip designed to squeeze every last second in with Jax before we drop him off at College. OHHH - that should be interesting!
It was always a given that both Greta and I were going on this trip!
Raylan and I have been a parental team when it comes to raising our blended family - physically, emotionally and financially for the past twelve years. Even now with Jax entering College our partnership continues. Raylan and I are working together to provide financial support for Jax's education, as well as, support him emotionally through all the changes coming his way and is willing to share. Hopefully a lot! Probably wishful thinking on our part!
On the other side of the coin is Greta - his mother. She's never missed a big moment in Jax's life. This moment was no exception. Sal's participation in the road trip was never discussed as a possibility. Greta was the parent who handled the majority of parenting of Jax in her home.
It was set that the three of would take Jax to school but it felt like something was missing without our girls so Elle and Little Hart came along.
They had been very involved in helping Jax prepare for College. The night before we left they both pitched in helping Jax pack up his belongings. Lots of laughter mixed with sadness as the enormity of the situation sunk in - Jax was really leaving us.
The morning of the trip, the five of us loaded up the car and drove over to Greta's house to pick up our sixth travel companion. Her husband Sal and their three kids came out to send us off. I wondered what Sal thought when Greta jumped in the car with us - shut the door - him standing on the outside looking in with their kids by his side.
Our parenting team had been a point of contention between Raylan and Greta for a number of years. Greta wanted her and Raylan to handle the raising of the kids - just the two of them- a team working in opposite camps.
The problem? You can't be one team if you train at different locations - you can be sister teams that share a common mission, exchange valuable information, find solutions to problems and support the other team so that both teams can be successful, but they can't be one team.
By sheer logistics two teams were created. Each one had their own playbook, rule book, separate training facilities, different team mates with differing personalities and different team leaders. Two coaches on our team and one coach on her team. The makeup of the team leadership was a choice made by each parent. Greta had strong opinions about her decision and Raylan had strong opinions about his.
For our team/our blended family - sharing the parenting responsibilities and working together as a team made a huge difference in the relationship Raylan and I have with all three kids. We have the family we had always envisioned. Twelve years later, Raylan's choice was the right one for him, Jax and our family.
As we pulled away from their home - Sal and the kids happily waiving goodbye - I realized Jax belonged to two teams and both were sitting in the car headed South. His full team from our house and his special team from his other house. Raylan and I are ok with our team - Greta and Sal are ok with their team. Most importantly Jax is ok with the makeup of both teams. The six members of his two teams were on their way to say goodbye to a son and a brother.
Check in for Part 2 on Friday.