All in Kid's illness


Let’s talk sending your kid or step kid off to College this Fall!

You've probably been inundated with lists out there of what to send with your College bound kid.  Having sent three kids off recently, I found three key things missing from any of the dozens of lists.  Three things, that I consider an absolute MUST for parent sanity when sending our youngins' off to forage on their own.


It would have been relatively easy, like falling out of bed to raise Elle as a victim.  After all, I divorced her Dad when she was only a year old and Elle's Father never really got over it.  Choosing to punish me for doing so at the expense of Elle.  Still I made a conscious choice not to fall into victimhood for either Elle or myself. There has always, even at the age of 1, been far more to Elle than the things that went wrong in her life.


The challenges that fell in Elle's lap would of course change her, but it was always up to me as her Mother to help her harness them in a way that shaped her, but never defined her. 

Brain Surgery Part 1:

You go through life making choices all day long. Lots of small ones and on occasion some really BIG ones -  like what to make for dinner.  Ok, I struggle with that one quite often, but honestly I'm talking the really important decisions; the ones we make for our children.  What school should I send my little angel to next fall?  When can they go on their first date? Should I get divorced? - Monday-Morning-Quarterback

As a divorced Mom, married to a Man with Kids, I've had the benefit(drama/pain in the ass) of most of my decisions second guessed and debated by the Monday Morning Quarterback - an Ex Spouse, their current Spouse, Ex Wives and their current spouse........ Then you answer the phone one afternoon and realize that none of those decisions really mattered. Whatever control you thought you had when it came to your kids was all just an illusion.

This month marks the 2nd anniversary of Little Hart's brush with death. We sat by her bedside watching the respirator take her every breath - wondering if she would ever tell another funny story that made us laugh uncontrollably, inform us she was not going to do this, that or the other (she's so damn stubborn!) or be able to say "I Love You Mom and Dad."

Little Hart and her BFF from the hospital

Greta, Raylan and I sat in a small ICU room for NINE days and nights - all unified in praying for a miracle. One arrived on day six when she the turned a corner.  A lot of things in our Blended Family Life were forever changed after those nine days.

For the past two weeks it feels like our family has been in an episode of House, desperately trying to figure out the cause of Elle's mysterious symptoms; ringing in her left ear and pain on the left side of her head and neck.  It started the Tuesday before Thanksgiving and it's been a extreme gambit of emotions since then.

Elle has had a number of ear problems over the years including a burst eardrum, indented ear drum, too many ear infections to count. She has a high pain threshold which usually means that by the time she says something is hurting it's been going on a long time and will take a considerable amount of effort to remedy. We always know the source of the problem and how to fix.  Not so this time around.